Blanket Sea

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“Sick Woman” by Sol Camarena Medina

Listen to Sol Camarena Medina read “Sick Woman.”

 

Your mouth so blue even birds
get lost in it.

Nobody realizes
how sick you are, not even your doctor, oh no, they’re all praising
your sapphire tongue, your teeth like tiny turquoises hanging on an ancient necklace
your palate smells of the dead but your lover’s turned into a raven
and waits for the funeral the way you wait for harvest.

There’s a boulder stuck on your throat, a pebble inserted on your kidney
sickness tastes sweet when you cover it in sugar, but you can’t eat it with tomato on it
like you did with bread slices as a child.

You’ve always liked sweets, however
today you’re praying for someone to nail scratch the cake coating
topping your skin, your smile and your blue hands
you’ve rung the war bells already
but everybody keeps dancing.

 

 

Sol Camarena Medina is a mad lesbian poet from Valencia, Spain who’s also a loud laugher and lover. she was born in 1997 and she’s self-published three poetry books in Spanish – pétalos y espinas + ya lo escribieron ellas + estival + her poems are featured in diverse publications & anthologies both in English & in Spanish. she’s also written on mental health & feminism for Spanish magazines + she runs an online platform for contemporary women artists, @artebruja + she’s co-editor for Spanish feminist magazine La Gorgona. she has open commissions for poems all year round. You can donate to her Ko-Fi, email her for commissions, and follow her on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

“EEG” by Rachel Tanner

The nurse comes by to
touch up the electrodes on my head.
Add glue.
Add chemicals. She says
You clench your teeth pretty often.
Did you know that?
It’s ok. I clench my teeth, too.

My entire body is tense all the time
& I can’t explain why. I’ve been a
cluster of anxiety since the day I was born.
My mom likes to say there was a storm in town,
a tornado, maybe,
while she was in labor with me.
The doctor made her sit in the
hospital hallway where it was safer.

It’s nice to imagine
howling winds helped usher me in –
that I was enveloped in noise from my beginning.
That my world has always been loud.

I don’t mean to clench my teeth I tell the nurse.
It’s just that I don’t know how to relax. Never learned.
I got sick before I learned much of anything.

 

 

Rachel Tanner is an Alabamian writer whose work has recently appeared in Moonchild Magazine, Barren Magazine, Peach Mag, and elsewhere. She tweets @rickit.

“Bounded Rationality” by Arnav Sood

Mathematicians say that a map f: (X, \rho_x) —> X between metric spaces is a contraction if it brings points closer together. If a contraction is sufficiently strong, it is known to have a fixed point, or a point such that f(x) = x.

Your life shrinks. Your sentences shrivel up and dry like cockroaches and ashen leaves. Your thoughts wither. The orbit of your life tightens, squeezing out all the self you couldn’t save.

We say that agents have rational expectations when their perceptions about how the economy evolves match the actual law of motion. Rational expectations often arise when the rules of a model are known to all, and all agents solve the model.

Sometimes the disease is kinder, and sometimes it’s not. To outsmart it is unthinkable — do not forget, it controls your thoughts. It lives in you. It is you. You are it. You have long since renounced contradictory views: those futures you imagined for yourself, those other people did for you. To expect those things would be irrational.

A sunspot equilibrium is a situation where agents’ actions are coordinated by some external variable, like spots on the sun. These signals do not matter in themselves, but rather do because they are believed.

Under your mind’s breath, terrified the disease might overhear, you whisper your defiance. It doesn’t work. Do not forget, it controls your thoughts. It is you. You are it. Your soul is a lone buoy against a vast and savage sea.

The theory of bounded rationality is a response to the rational expectations equilibrium. Agents cannot solve models. They cannot compute perfectly, cannot instantly process thousands of macroeconomic signals. They are noisy, human creatures.

You are boundedly rational.

 

 

Arnav is a predoctoral student in economics. He lives near the beach in Vancouver, BC. You can visit his website at arnavsood.com.

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