i.
when you give over
your individual beauty, suppress your
stride, battle flesh and lose
you murder a part of me

 

ii.
spare a thought for girls – we
get our story questioned and
anxiety over whether our imposter syndrome is worth it
for the final moments of verdict

it’s lonely
there’s nobody

 

iii.
you’re there but not wanted
to share
the good and bad?
bottle it!

i look a bit lost
i think i’ve lost enough
i’m left a failed has been
walking performer

 

iiii.
forever
wait
sing
we are everything

 

Artist’s Statement

I love to write poetry about who I am, but when it comes to neurodiversity often words fall short, so I thought I’d lend the text from elsewhere to build these poems. They are about how difficult it can be to get diagnosed or taken seriously as an autistic woman or femme-aligned person (as I am), and how we are often told to be quiet, to keep things inside, to normalise ourselves and act accordingly. These feelings also intersect with my understanding of being a genderqueer lesbian—it’s not so much just about being neurodiverse in particular, but navigating the world as a queer disabled person people assume is a woman.

 

 

Chloe Erin (she/they) is a depressed disaster dyke currently residing in Cardiff. They make poems about mental illness, social justice and politics, being queer and autistic, loving their wife and a myriad of other things. Follow them on Instagram and Twitter.